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I am so very fed up of giving my details over the phone and being asked, "Is it Miss or Mrs?" without the option of Ms, or of being addressed as Mrs by default, regardless of what I've asked them to call me. I rang the Financial Ombudsman today and was greeted with this yet again. I'd actually rung to point out that they'd got my address wrong, but since they added this to having addressed the letter to Mrs even though I'd said firmly on the phone that it was Ms, the guy ended up getting a little lecture on how it's frankly rather offensive to categorise women by their marital status whether they like it or not (and also that if I'm Mrs, then I'm committing adultery and I don't think my partner would be too happy about it all). His excuse was that if he started asking, "Is it Miss, Mrs, Doctor, Reverend..." the list would go on for ever. He just didn't seem to get that Ms should be the default. It's 2009 and this problem occurs more often than not.*
So today I look at the news and encounter Female medics "to outnumber male". This does not surprise me in the least. Due to the way men and women are currently socialised, there are certain professions which have traditionally been male but fit much better with current models of female behaviour, in particular anything which involves caring or pastoral work. You can see the same pattern at work with the clergy: for instance, female rabbinical students slightly outnumber male ones at the Liberal/Reform rabbinical college in London. This doesn't mean that the glass ceiling has been broken in either the medical or the religious worlds (or academia or law, come to that), as is immediately evidenced when you look at the number of women in the higher-level jobs. Still, it's encouraging news.
But do the headlines say "Women outnumber men as medical students but are still alarmingly under-represented at the top of their profession?" No, they say Rise in women doctors "worrying". Women are more likely to work part-time, and the system is not currently all that well set-up for part-time work. The solutions are either a) limit the number of women and/or part-time employees; or b) modify the system so that it functions well with a higher number of part-time employees. The first option is wholly unethical and constitutes gender discrmination. We're meant to be past the stage where a woman can be turned down for a job because everyone knows that she'll mess things up by going on maternity leave just when she's needed. And whatever happened to paternity leave? Parents work, in many if not most cases both parents work, and there are plenty of fathers who would prefer to be able to spend more time with their kids. We need to move away from the assumption that women and women alone are dedicated to childrearing and men are the breadwinners. It's not true, it's not just, and it's buggering up the workplace. It's perfectly possible to relate childrearing to working in a more egalitarian fashion: look at the Swedish system, for instance.
Going back to doctors, I for one have a strong preference for seeing a doctor of my own gender. My reasons for this are personal, but suffice it to say that it's a common preference amongst women, especially when it comes to more intimate medical matters. Men don't seem to be as bothered about this as women are, on average. I don't know how much of this is down to women being more likely to need to talk about intimate matters with medical professionals (issues such as sexual dysfunction which can affect both genders aside, put contraception, smear tests, childbirth, PMS, menopause against prostate and testicular cancer), and how much of it is due to gender dynamics relating to power, fear, respect. There's also the issue of some religions requiring a same-gender doctor for women; I don't know if they require it for men, I've certainly never heard that they do but it would be logical.
Whatever the reason, from a patient's perspective there is a distinct advantage to having slightly more women than men in the medical profession. My GP works part-time because she has a small child, and guess what, I'm still far happier with her than I've been with previous doctors. I know that I can ring my surgery and get hold of my GP within a couple of days, and that if it's urgent I can get hold of a female doctor if necessary (though I don't always bother if it's something basic like an ear infection). My mother has a GP who is much harder to get hold of than mine despite the fact that he works full-time, she finds that he is terribly condescending in a way that's typical of a certain type of male-female interaction, and she'd never feel comfortable discussing gynaecological matters with him. Indeed, she sounds far, far less comfortable with him than I am with my GP, and I think a lot of that is due to gender dynamics. Women are more likely to talk freely to other women they don't know well than they are to men, and less likely to feel intimidated. Women are socialised to listen, men to give orders: it's a sweeping generalisation, of course, but the overall pattern I've observed with doctors and other authority figures does reflect it. If I'm not getting on well with medication my GP has prescribed, I ring her up and chat about it, and she adjusts my medication accordingly. My mother would never dare do that, and considering the behaviour she's reported, I'm not surprised. Most of this will, of course, be down to the fact that I have a stonking good GP and hers isn't as good, and I've encountered plenty of good male doctors and bad female doctors, but I still suspect that gender dynamics remain relevant.
Do I think that men shouldn't be allowed to be doctors? Good heavens, no. Do I think that the increasing number of women in the medical world is a good thing? Yes, and I think it should be encouraged. I also think that attitudes need to shift, and that incorporating more traditionally female values, into what is still a very male-dominated situation, would be beneficial. Put bluntly, we need fewer doctors who think they are God and more doctors who are willing to let their patients talk about anything they need to.
I'm curious to see how other people feel about this, so here is a little poll. I've tried to make it as flexible as possible, which is always tricky. Forgive me if I've messed up anywhere. For the sake of simplicity, the gender options are male, female and other. You may wish to pick "other" if you identify primarily as one gender but your experience has encompassed more than that.
* Apart from that glazier who addressed a letter to me as Mr, which was somewhat startling. Between that and getting my flat number wrong, I decided that I didn't trust them to get the measurements for my window right.
[Poll #1410333]
So today I look at the news and encounter Female medics "to outnumber male". This does not surprise me in the least. Due to the way men and women are currently socialised, there are certain professions which have traditionally been male but fit much better with current models of female behaviour, in particular anything which involves caring or pastoral work. You can see the same pattern at work with the clergy: for instance, female rabbinical students slightly outnumber male ones at the Liberal/Reform rabbinical college in London. This doesn't mean that the glass ceiling has been broken in either the medical or the religious worlds (or academia or law, come to that), as is immediately evidenced when you look at the number of women in the higher-level jobs. Still, it's encouraging news.
But do the headlines say "Women outnumber men as medical students but are still alarmingly under-represented at the top of their profession?" No, they say Rise in women doctors "worrying". Women are more likely to work part-time, and the system is not currently all that well set-up for part-time work. The solutions are either a) limit the number of women and/or part-time employees; or b) modify the system so that it functions well with a higher number of part-time employees. The first option is wholly unethical and constitutes gender discrmination. We're meant to be past the stage where a woman can be turned down for a job because everyone knows that she'll mess things up by going on maternity leave just when she's needed. And whatever happened to paternity leave? Parents work, in many if not most cases both parents work, and there are plenty of fathers who would prefer to be able to spend more time with their kids. We need to move away from the assumption that women and women alone are dedicated to childrearing and men are the breadwinners. It's not true, it's not just, and it's buggering up the workplace. It's perfectly possible to relate childrearing to working in a more egalitarian fashion: look at the Swedish system, for instance.
Going back to doctors, I for one have a strong preference for seeing a doctor of my own gender. My reasons for this are personal, but suffice it to say that it's a common preference amongst women, especially when it comes to more intimate medical matters. Men don't seem to be as bothered about this as women are, on average. I don't know how much of this is down to women being more likely to need to talk about intimate matters with medical professionals (issues such as sexual dysfunction which can affect both genders aside, put contraception, smear tests, childbirth, PMS, menopause against prostate and testicular cancer), and how much of it is due to gender dynamics relating to power, fear, respect. There's also the issue of some religions requiring a same-gender doctor for women; I don't know if they require it for men, I've certainly never heard that they do but it would be logical.
Whatever the reason, from a patient's perspective there is a distinct advantage to having slightly more women than men in the medical profession. My GP works part-time because she has a small child, and guess what, I'm still far happier with her than I've been with previous doctors. I know that I can ring my surgery and get hold of my GP within a couple of days, and that if it's urgent I can get hold of a female doctor if necessary (though I don't always bother if it's something basic like an ear infection). My mother has a GP who is much harder to get hold of than mine despite the fact that he works full-time, she finds that he is terribly condescending in a way that's typical of a certain type of male-female interaction, and she'd never feel comfortable discussing gynaecological matters with him. Indeed, she sounds far, far less comfortable with him than I am with my GP, and I think a lot of that is due to gender dynamics. Women are more likely to talk freely to other women they don't know well than they are to men, and less likely to feel intimidated. Women are socialised to listen, men to give orders: it's a sweeping generalisation, of course, but the overall pattern I've observed with doctors and other authority figures does reflect it. If I'm not getting on well with medication my GP has prescribed, I ring her up and chat about it, and she adjusts my medication accordingly. My mother would never dare do that, and considering the behaviour she's reported, I'm not surprised. Most of this will, of course, be down to the fact that I have a stonking good GP and hers isn't as good, and I've encountered plenty of good male doctors and bad female doctors, but I still suspect that gender dynamics remain relevant.
Do I think that men shouldn't be allowed to be doctors? Good heavens, no. Do I think that the increasing number of women in the medical world is a good thing? Yes, and I think it should be encouraged. I also think that attitudes need to shift, and that incorporating more traditionally female values, into what is still a very male-dominated situation, would be beneficial. Put bluntly, we need fewer doctors who think they are God and more doctors who are willing to let their patients talk about anything they need to.
I'm curious to see how other people feel about this, so here is a little poll. I've tried to make it as flexible as possible, which is always tricky. Forgive me if I've messed up anywhere. For the sake of simplicity, the gender options are male, female and other. You may wish to pick "other" if you identify primarily as one gender but your experience has encompassed more than that.
* Apart from that glazier who addressed a letter to me as Mr, which was somewhat startling. Between that and getting my flat number wrong, I decided that I didn't trust them to get the measurements for my window right.
[Poll #1410333]
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no subject
Date: Wednesday, 3 June 2009 04:15 pm (UTC)From:I don't have a preference for a doctor's gender on most occasions (although I've asked for a female GP before, and never had a problem with getting one). With that said, the only people in my life I've ever heard use 'Mr Right' unironically were doctors - two of them, on unrelated separate occasions! Difficult to know quite what to say to "Well, if you ever find Mr Right and decide to have children..." ("How about I focus on my personal life, and you focus on telling me how hereditary my rare genetic condition is? Why don't we play to our strengths, here?") I wasn't hugely offended, but I did find it a bit odd - same as with the female GP who phrased the usual "Are you sexually active?" question as "Do you have a boyfriend at the moment?" Um, there's about half a dozen reasons why those aren't quite the same question...
no subject
Date: Wednesday, 3 June 2009 05:06 pm (UTC)From:Doctor: Are you sexually active at the moment?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: What form of contraception are you using?
Patient: We're not.
Doctor: Oh. Oh dear. You do know that the withdrawal method really isn't all that accurate?
Patient: There's nothing to withdraw. I'm with a woman.
Alas, that was a friend. The nearest I got was answering the contraception question by saying that it was a girlfriend, not a boyfriend, so I didn't get the pwnage. Nor did the doctor blink twice. I've encountered homophobic doctors a few times, but thankfully not while discussing anything related to my reproductive system. I wish they'd make a point of training all doctors to use terminology that does not presuppose sexual orientation, or anything to do with sexuality, really. Even better, use phrasing that actively makes it clear that all forms of relationship are welcome (and I bet the poly folks in particular would appreciate this). I've met some who are fantastic in that respect, and it always makes me do a little unseen hop of joy, just as I did when I saw leaflets about lesbian safer sex up in the Family Planning Clinic.
I'd be so tempted to respond with, "How do you know I'm not gay?" to anyone making noises about Mr Right. Actually, it's not so much the presumption of heteronormativity, it's more the implied nice cosy little story about how every girl is longing to meet Mr Right and settle down and have babies with him. And yes, utterly irrelevant to a discussion about eye conditions. Which is maybe why they went for the coy phrasing, but it's just...odd. I bet they wouldn't be burbling on about Mr Right if you went in there after cancer wanting to know about how likely it was to be hereditary.
I would so love to be able to respond with a haughty, "It's Doctor, actually"! I'm getting tempted to respond to the next person who asks me "Miss or Mrs" with "Are you married?" but I probably won't. Though I'd be curious to see what would happen if I refused to answer the question, since it really is none of their business what my relationship status is.
no subject
Date: Wednesday, 3 June 2009 05:55 pm (UTC)From:Hell yes to the idea of more doctors talking to patients about sexual relationships with the knowledge that there's lots of different kinds of relationship they could be having!