Hilarious link

[elettaria]

The Mormon mission in Edinburgh.

The Words 'fanny,' 'bugger,' 'bloody,' and 'suspenders' (call them braces'), should never be used when speaking to a Scot. Foreign visitors should note that a 'fag' is a cigarette, an 'ass' is a donkey, and a 'rubber' is an eraser.

This is the city I live in?

Comments

[garpu.livejournal.com]

What's wrong with fanny and suspenders? Bloody and bugger I know. (I've been known to use "bugger" in general conversation because it's a lot more acceptable over here than certain synonyms.

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

Well, they may cause confusion if the speaker is unaware that they mean something different in the UK...

An Australian acquaintance said that one of her first memorable conversations in England went something like:

Her: Hey, nice pants!
Man she'd just met: *Gives her extremely funny look*
Her: What? [pause] ... Oh. That was one of the things I was supposed to remember not to say, wasn't it?

[sweetrush.livejournal.com]

The number of times I've heard that story, either every single American/Australian/what have you tourist does this, or they all pretend they have...

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

I've had many conversations with people speculating about the possible effects of getting the terminology wrong - this is the first example I'd heard of someone actually saying it.

[sweetrush.livejournal.com]

I've heard it as a 'my friend's American friend/family member' type thing a whole bunch of times.

[sweetrush.livejournal.com]

BTW, hello elettaria, I'm not sure if I've commented here before, although I friended you aaages ago. From menstrual_cups obviously, but prompted by the yummy English Literature. *waves from Oxford*

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

*waves from Edinburgh, assuming we're allowed to do that - very strict city, no hugging allowed, you know*

[sweetrush.livejournal.com]

Hehe. I won't tell anyone if you won't.

Shakespeare tute in an hour, I'm so underprepared, lala...

*flees*

[garpu.livejournal.com]

Huh. An Australian friend of mine referrs to underwear as pants, though. (Her dad's from the UK.)

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

Fanny = female genitalia, about equivalent to "pussy".
Suspenders = used to hold up female stockings, i.e. lace scanties (hardly a term that shouldn't be used, but there could be some amusement if the term was used in the context of braces, you could come across as accusing the guy of wearing ladies' undies).
Bloody = mild swearword, commonly used although not in polite conversation (I've used it during an uncomfortable medical exam, I wouldn't use it in a job interview).
Bugger = word for anal sex (which I presume is constant everywhere but you never know), medium swearword, commonly used but not in polite conversation. elfbystarlight once described something exhausting as "buggering her sideways", for example.

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

Fag = cigarette, but also derogatory slang for a gay man. Possibly they should have mentioned that one. What is it in the US, just the latter?

I'm still trying to work out this one:

Dating in Scotland is different than in the United States. Relationships are formed and maintained within a social circle, not as separate couples. Rather than dating many different people, Scots date one person at a time. Marriage becomes legal at age 16, but usually occurs in the mid- to late-20s. Marriage customs are much the same as in the United States.

Well, they're definitely wrong about the average age of marriage, it's early-mid thirties (just looked it up (http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Publications/2004/03/19144/35014)), but then that LDS page seems to be ten years out of date. I have no idea what the second sentence means since of course people form couples, but they usually have a group of friends as well. Said friends may tell said couple to bugger off and get a room if they're too lovey-dovey in front of them.

But what on earth is this business about "rather than dating many different people"? What is the American (or possibly just Mormon) definition of "dating"? In the UK, if you're dating someone you're going out together, you're a couple, although dating tends to be used more for the earlier stages of a relationship. So unless you're into polyamory (rare) or just cheating, of course you only date one person at a time. Going out on a date with someone does not necessarily mean that you are in a relationship, but it usually signifies the very early stages of one, while you're figuring out whether you want to hook up or not. If you're doing this with several people at once, they're not dates, they're going out for drinks/to the cinema/whatever. If that was dating, my ladies-who-lunch habits with eye_of_a_cat must be dating, or the friends I meet up with for drinks or coffee on their own, or anyone I attend a cinema with.

My guess is that they're classifying such interaction as dates, presumably only in a male-female situation, which is why the support website for girlfriends of Mormon missionaries I also found (there was a really insane lass trolling a comm yesterday and she had links to the weirdest places) was confusing me by advising girls to go on dates with other guys while their "mish" was away. It seems like a terrible formalisation of friendly interaction.

[garpu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'd say dating is similar. I'm not sure about the Mormon definition of dating, since I tend to avoid them when they're out trolling for members. I think more observant Mormons don't fraternize with members of the opposite sex, though. (There goes my social circle, being in a male-dominated field...)

[garpu.livejournal.com]

Yeeeah. I can see why Mormon missionaries might want to avoid takling about fannies and suspenders, then. ;)

[eslee.livejournal.com]

That is hilarious! Our experiences in Scotland were quite different from what this would like people to believe. Or maybe I should just feel special that I got so many hugs from a non-hugging people!

I'm not familiar with this, though: "Forming a V with the index and middle fingers and the palm facing inward is vulgar and should be avoided." What does it mean if you make this gesture?

[splodgenoodles.livejournal.com]

It's the same as giving someone the finger.

[eslee.livejournal.com]

Ahh, thanks!

[king-laugh.livejournal.com]

This is bonkers.
And though it refers to customs I'm unaware of, I'm a weegie. (Or, to be precise, a Doonhamer-turned-Weegie). Is Edinburgh really so foreign?

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

Er, no. But I'd love to set a Mormon mission down in a rough part of Glasgow, if they're this clueless and get this freaked out by Edinburgh. No wonder no one would hug them. And they seem to expect almost everyone to be a Christian and preferably a practising one at that, they grudgingly admit that "Younger Scots, especially in the east, are sometimes more secular and therefore less interested in religion or less influenced by religious traditions" but neglect to mention that a) I'd reckon that's the majority of all Scots; b) we may be a relatively small minority, but there are Muslims, Jews, Buddhists etc. in Scotland too. They also neglect to mention Sunday trading, maybe they were just too shocked and pretended it wasn't there.

I was having a rough time yesterday (stressed up to my eyeballs, aunt's having her eye out today because of cancer, mother is thus freaked out, that sort of thing) and found this when chasing up some bizarre Mormon links after a troll elsewhere. D came round to give me TLC and cuddles after I turned into a waterspout down the phone at him, and we ended up having a good giggle over it. We were contemplating writing to them to give them further (mis)information (OK, it was about 1 am by this point), preferably while both wearing tweed and eating that exquisite national dish, mince and tatties, which we feast on three times a day. They really should know that a true Scotsman doesn't wear UNDERpants under his kilt, for instance. Reference was also made to a crappy-sounding anti-drugs NHS advert D told me about (yes, I live under a rock, no television), "it's not smack if you're smoking it", because they really sound like they are.

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

I was going to quote the bit about 'desert' being served in the afternoon, with tea, but then I found this bit:

Scotland has produced many of Britain' s most talented people, such as the poet Robert Bums.

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

Really? You mean he wasn't Welsh?

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

I admit I was more surprised to find that his name is apparently spelt with an 'm' instead of 'r n'...

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

I also liked "apartments (fiats)".

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

"Thou shalt not live in houses..."